Love Is Stronger Than Anger
Why is it so easy to think negative or angry thoughts--about ourselves, about family members, friends, classmates, teachers, strangers, etc.? Why do people spend so much energy being angry instead of loving and accepting?
What if you could re-channel that negative energy and transform ourselves and our relationships and connections to people around us to be positive and loving in every single instance? I'm telling you that it is definitely possible and very doable.
When I was 10 years old, I remember reading a book about fables. There was always one fable that stuck with me throughout my life. It was the story about the Sun and the Wind having an argument over who was stronger. They both believed themselves to be the strongest, so to prove their point, they set themselves up with a little competition. It just so happened that there was a man walking down the street, so the Wind suggested that whoever could get the man to take off his jacket was the strongest. The Wind took his turn first and turned on his wind power full force. He blew and blew and blew to try to get the man's coat off his body. Instead what happened was the man actually held on to the coat even tighter and stronger to protect himself from the Wind. Wind finally had to give up and allow the Sun to have his turn. Well, the Sun began to shine and spread his warmth over the man just by being warm and sunny. The Sun didn't need to be forceful either. After a short while, the man became too warm to keep his coat on, and so removed it. The Sun won the challenge.
If you liken the characters to this story to positive or negative energy, love and anger, you can see that positivity and love are always stronger.
Let's examine the reasons why love is stronger than anger. How do you feel when you feel loving? I know when I feel loving, I feel happy, strong, positive and my physical body feels healthy and well. I feel smarter and able to conquer any challenge in my life with an expectation of success. When a person feels positive and in a loving state of mind, they usually feel they can handle or do anything. Living within that state of mind then creates positive experiences all around; thus attracting more of the same. Now let's look at anger. How do you feel when you are angry? In the past when I used to experience anger on a regular basis, I never felt well. My body felt stiff, my energy levels were lower and I was always tired. Using negative angry energy is very draining and zaps your energy. You can't feel strong when your energy is low and that's what anger does. In addition, when a person walks around thinking angry thoughts about situations, people, events, and most especially themselves, they attract more of the same. They might bump into another angry person and exchange mean comments to each other. This fuels the anger and keeps it going. Anger in the body is debilitating. It lowers your immune system, can give you stomachaches, create joint pain, headaches, backaches and over time, those minors health issues become disease.
Interestingly enough both love and anger have one very big trait in common. They are both highly contagious. Suppose your friend came to school and was very angry about something that happened at home, and perhaps without realizing he begins to take his anger out on you or your other friends. Because he was unable to resolve the situation in a positive way, he is now displacing his anger on to you and your friends. You have two choices you can resolve to protect yourself from their angry outburst by not taking it on, or your can react to this friend with the same angry emotion, thus affecting your overall outlook and attitude. A great way to protect yourself from negative and angry energy is by staying in a state of loving positive energy. Remember love is stronger than anger. You can make this choice.
The good news is you can spread love and positive energy the same way! This same friend meets you after school and shares with you how much the teacher loved his school project and how she felt he was talented, smart and creative. Now, this positive vibe is being shared with you as well. Perhaps you friend is complimentary to you--saying your hair looks nice, or you played well in soccer.
So, what is the formula or means to create feelings of love instead of anger. It is simply a process of becoming aware of and controlling your thoughts. It doesn't happen overnight. My personal experience has been this. By nature, I have always been a more positive than negative person throughout my life. That being said, I was just like everyone else. I didn't always have control of my thoughts -- would get angry at people for thoughtless behavior, or when I thought someone was unfair or mean. As a mother now, I began to notice that my anger transferred easily on to my children -- who then would begin acting angry themselves.
How did I make the change? It was a firm and conscious decision 509 days ago. Yes, nearly 18 month ago, as part of my spiritual journey, I decided to stop being angry, stop judging others' behaviors and start being loving, compassionate, kind, accepting and when pushed too far, staying neutral. Was it easy in the beginning? Absolutely not. Did I give up? Absolutely not. Now, 509 days in and still counting, I'm positive I'd say over 90% of the time. How do I do it? It's constantly being in touch with, in tune with my thoughts. At times, it's just taking a moment to mentally dialogue with myself on how to view a person, a situation, a negative item on the news, a difficult family member. If I feel unable to send them positive loving energy, I simply think neutral thoughts. For instance, the cashier at the market must be having a bad day, or my neighbor is not feeling well, or simply there's something going on within that person that I don't know about, so I will give them space and not judge their attitude or behavior... and most especially not think or send them angry thoughts.
My life is so much improved since starting this major attitude shift in my mind. Now, most of the time, my interactions with family, friends, peers and strangers are positive and happy. You can start too. After reading this post, grab a notebook or journal. Write an affirmation that you will begin to think and generate positive and loving thoughts about yourself-first and foremost, and then about everyone else. After you've written your affirmation, then write the date and DAY 1. You have begun your journey. Just like learning a sport, a musical instrument, a language or anything else we choose to learn how to do, you must choose to practice and build your thought process skills everyday to get good at it.
When you get good at this particular skill, the quality of your life is immensely, tremendously, stupendously, miraculously, and infinitely better. Share your experiences--the successes and the setbacks with me on my contact page. I'd be more than happy to send you a few words to keep you or get you back on track towards a happier, more rewarding daily life.
